Our Relationship has been long through for about 5 years since May 2006. Now is 2011, I feel that it’s the right time for getting more seriously to walk on together for all that we have been through. But, at the beginning of the year, I was suddenly getting confused because one of the parts of my past suddenly came again into my life. Everyday I pray to God and do “Salat Istikharah” because I don’t want to decide something that I don’t even feel sure about it. When I tried to share with some of my friends, they said that before we getting married, there will always be some disturbance things come out to shake all the things on my mind. They asked me not to get influence of it, especially to the relationship because it doesn’t worth at all. I don’t believe these such problems will interfere my heart until I face it up directly and slowly my heart be so sick. Things about someone we’ve ever in love much at the past were made me crazy, but I believe to Allah SWT that will always hear my pray.
Please help me to find out the way I am… the way it should be… show me the way to the closest way of the good things for me… take the bad things far far away from me… amien…
For about one month I pray, every night, for me, for my love and for my future. Then at that time, one by one, God showed me the way things looked not pretty fit with me. God showed me the good things, the bad things, the easiest way to get out from bad memories of me. Alhamdulillah…
In March, I pray that if this year is my best year for getting married..then please God… show me the easiest way for it. Finally… after I can stand by myself without my past shadowing me, my lovely asked me to marry him this year,, I would love too… After I feel so sure, he asked me then, what a happily surprise it is! Thank God I found him. The One and Only. My best I ever had.
The date for “Lamaran” will be held on Sunday May 15, 2011 … which is on my birthday date. First time I called my Mom to tell her this surprise, I feel so excited. It is like… free… happy… cool… ehmmm…. “Mommy, I feel thank to God cause after successfully woke up from a bad dream, He asked me to marry him this year… waooww…” then my Mommy answered “Yesss Honey, congratulation for realizing good things and releasing yourself from bad guy in your life, finally you sure yourself that your love was so loyal enough and only for you..mmuaahhh…my best wishes to my girl”…. “Thank you so much Momm..you’re my best of all, smooochhh”
It’s March 2011.
The “Lamaran” event is on May 15, 2011. Ohh..I don’t have enough time for making preparation about that. I and my boyfriend started to go on shopping for buying things for “Seserahan”. We planned that we will have 15 packages for “Seserahan” because my birthday date is 15. “Lamaran” is what we called in Java for asking a woman to marry a man. The man will come officially to the woman’s home with all his family to ask the woman for getting married with him. His families will bring the 15 packages of “Seserahan” that consists of all the woman needed from the head to foot, such as clothes, shoes, bags, etc.
I don’t know what I want to write today. What I know is… I’m happy. ^^